Katie loves pointless bureaucracy and so you can imagine her disappointment when our census form never showed up. Luckily, after several lengthy phone calls, she was finally able to secure the emergency dispatch of a new one. Turns out, she didn’t want me to fill her section in while she was asleep. It also turns out that her first language isn’t Jamaican Patois; her job doesn’t involve playing piano in a brothel; and her national identity is Scottish and not English (I just assumed that since she’s been living here for so long she’s probably fully naturalised by now – she can almost pronounce “scone”). Not sure she needed to overreact in quite the way she did though.